Uniqueness
In original branding textbooks, uniqueness is also known as the Unique Selling Proposition, Unique Value Proposition, differentiator, and other terms to say this (ah, marketers):
In a market of options, why should people buy in to your product/service/cause/idea?
Here’s the kicker, humans are determining the value. We, as humans, are hard wired
My philosophy: Every thing and everyone is inherently unique simply because it, the brander, and the situation it was branded in make up a unique time-space-specific instance.
My philosophy in human terms: You already have a uniqueness, simply because there is only one you.
Why you can’t accept or talk about your uniqueness
When I tell clients the above, I usually get responses like
“Khayra! I’m not paying you to tell me this wishy washy stuff! Tell me how to get a job!”
“All the things unique about me are things I’m trying to change to be more normal!”
“OK, but what do I do with this? Is there a logo I should make?”
If you had any of these thoughts, you may be facing one of the following pains.
Panic, Drama, & Priorities
You may be aware of, understand, and deeply analyzed how to promote yourself, but your actions don’t match what your brain says. You keep getting shocked how a month has passed and you didn’t do all the things you said you would. You’re frustrated that loved ones aren’t making your life easier to get things done.
How panic can show up: Procrastination (full article here), over-scheduling, not being able to say no to things you don’t want to/can’t do, blowing up, being nice to people who hurt you, avoiding people who love you, and yelling/breaking things. The more known ways it shows up panic attacks, difficulty breathing, depersonalization, depression, and numbness. The below MIGHT help, but for deep dive into panic, check out the class.
How drama can show up: Resentment to people who don’t appreciate your effort, annoyance that others aren’t doing the right thing, and suffering of people not being helpful. We have been, for better or worse, trained to fit in roles. If this resonates with you, you’ll need more guidance than “falling in love with your uniqueness”. You can deep dive into drama by checking out the class or learning more about 100%.
How socialized priorities can show up: Procrastination, over-scheduling, perfectionism, demotivation, confusion, and frustration with your to-do list. The below will definitely help. Priorities feel wrong when we’ve been trying to achieve goals as they “should” be achieved or when we don’t truly deeply believe in them.
Comparison with yourself and others
Comparison is not meant to harm our sense of identity. Comparison is tied to our brain’s super power of pattern recognition. It’s what helps us invent and fix things. I’ve noticed the following from my own experience and working with clients.
Comparing yourself with yourself: Not being satisfied with where you are and your potential has a lot with resenting your past decisions, fearing your own aspirations, and wanting to be “perfect” when that can’t exist. I go into details in this article.
Comparing yourself with influencers: While I use the word “influencers” it can be anyone in your feed or life that seems to have it more “put together” than you do. It’s easy for us to put a lot more value in other people’s strengths and unique features than in our own. More details in this article.
Falling in love with your uniqueness
Here are the most common solutions that work with my personal branding program clients.
Confidence
Get honest with me here; What are you confident in? For real, what do you not have any doubt in? The items you buy at the grocery store? The floor you’re walking on? The idea that your chair won’t fall over as you read this because you’ve already been sitting in it?
We’ve been trained to be confident in what’s familiar and what media tells us to be confident in. Many many people forget that self-confidence isn’t about being the greatest version of yourself, it’s about trusting your potential and accepting your past. When you trust and accept where you are and where you want to go, you can actually move and talk about it!
Your value
value
/vælyu/ noun
The value of something such as a quality, attitude, or method is its importance or usefulness. If you place a particular value on something, that is the importance or usefulness you think it has. — Collins Dictionary
How you see your value is your choice. It’s something between you and yourself, and if you’ve read this far, you have been using this closed space between you and yourself to allow secret injustice. You may think you’re not important or useful, and from this core belief you’ve let go of opportunities, tried to bring others down, and constantly do things to hide this secret.
The only input you allow to change this secret belief is when you get compliments and certificates, and — even then — you may feel like a fake. This is your choice. If you’d like a new way of seeing yourself, check out the below.
The value others perceive
Since we already put more value in others’ opinions of us, let’s go ahead and use it! Why judge when we can grow? ✨
I developed (thanks to Sara at Play Travel Code) an interactive Johari Window you can use for free. Pick what you think of yourself in 6 words, and then share the friend link with colleagues, family, and friends to get a look at how differently (or similarly) others see you.
Actions & Evidence
Since we already believe evidence from outside ourself, let’s go ahead and use it! Why judge when we can grow? ✨
I’ve benefited from and actively use Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) because I’m more inclined to bullet-journal. However, any way you can track evidence, like the Johari Window, a calendar, or a tracking app, can change your perception of situations. Whatever it is you choose, be consistent and have it come from reality. Staying in reality is tricky when dealing in beliefs because they can feel like facts.
A sense of purpose
My philosophy: There is no point in gaining confidence, accepting your uniqueness, and moving through barriers if you’re not going to do anything about it.
So how can you gain the energy to create and take action on your personal branding and life goals?
Prioritization
I’ve spoken a lot on social media about how I set 6-month priorities and break it down into monthly and weekly goals. This may be intimidating, as it took me 8 years to get into that norm AND be happy doing it. There are so many ways to set priorities, but they won’t mean anything if you’re not connected to them. These are the books that really helped me to prioritize effectively:
I’m developing articles, classes, and worksheets, feel free to book an Intro Call in the meantime.
Motivation
We create and use energy. Funnily enough, most of us have no idea how we do either, and that’s what takes it away. We’re constantly shocked and horrified that we’re not doing what we hope to do, which takes away more energy. When we get energy, we finally have enough to do energy-draining activities, that we don’t have any for fun activities.
Currently, the only solution I can give you is to take note of when you have high and low motivation, and analyze what happens the week before it. I go into more details with program clients by reflecting back to them the energy I see.
Spark with your Dream Audience
This is the one that really really is the core of having a personal brand. Activate your empathy by defining and learning about your dream audience. Here’s a step-by-step guide.
Why? Because we can get stuck in our head about how perfect we should look to others. When we turn our attention to the beauty and wonder of these souls we want to spark a connection with, we get out of our heads and overcome fears.